just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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