youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
