I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
