I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
