Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
