i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
