Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
