Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
