It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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