Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
