so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
