i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
BRING THE BAGELS
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
