i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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