It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
