okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
