Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
