i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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