Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
