i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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