Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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