Nicole vs. Life
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
