Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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