I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
