My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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