Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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