i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My feet surprised me
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
