i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize