She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
