I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
