90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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