and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
