plz talk dirty to me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
