omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
