So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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