We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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