It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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