whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
