I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
operation harelip BJ is a go
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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