soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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