ya dads aren't the best wingmen
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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