Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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