I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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