be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
