After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
