Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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