did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
