I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I understand Curling. That high.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Randomize
