There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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