That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
