You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
